Things My Kid Should Actually be for Halloween

Halloween Costumes: Things My Kid Should Actually be for Halloween

Forget the princesses, pumpkins and superheroes. Let’s get real. The list of Halloween costumes below is a more satirical realistic representation of our lives. See you later, Elsa. Goodbye, Thomas the Tank Engine. Hello, Smashed Peas!

  • The UPS man who delivers our Amazon packages
  • A dragon who doesn’t love tacos
  • Trail mix lost to the floor of my car
  • The dinner they refuse to eat
  • A ball of emotions (all of them, at one time)
  • Moana but 24/7, 365 days a year because that’s how. much. we. talk. about. MOANA.
  • A toothbrush/chew toy
  • Fancy clothes because Mom’s got plenty she doesn’t wear anymore
  • Jingle bells because they know no seasonal boundaries in our house
  • The florist at Kroger who gives out free balloons and stickers
  • A green crayon (they taste the best 😜)
  • The bean that was once stuck in a nose
  • Favorite sippy cup (subject to change at a moment’s notice)
  • The Cookie Monster
  • A permanent marker (highly sought after, often hidden)
  • The Target dog, Bullseye
  • Unwound roll of toilet paper

Bonus: wishful thinking Halloween costumes:

  • A clean playroom
  • Ruth Bader Ginsburg
  • A good listener
  • A hot cup of coffee
  • Matching socks

What should your children actually be for Halloween? Comment below!

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