An Open Letter To Pregnant New Moms

It’s okay…

It’s okay to not have it all figured out yet – you probably never will.

It’s okay if you don’t want a home birth, water birth, or natural delivery without an epidural. And it’s okay if you do. Though just to let you know, if you feel pressured to go to extremes in your delivery, no one is handing you a medal afterwards. So do what you want to do, not what you think you have to do.

It’s okay if your child isn’t at every milestone right away or doing what Susie’s kid is doing. Rest assured by college they will be able to tie their shoes, eat with a fork, and use the restroom. Each child is different and ahead in different ways.

It’s okay if you don’t want to breastfeed and it’s okay if you do. It’s no one’s business.

It’s okay if you want to do formula and it’s okay if you want to mash and make your own food.

It’s okay to cry and it’s okay to be proud of yourself and reward yourself every once in awhile.

It’s okay if your hair isn’t perfect and you haven’t slept or showered in days. We’ve all been there.

It’s okay to ask for help and it’s okay if you want to do it all yourself. But I have learned it takes a village and it’s nice to get your hubby involved so you can relax a little or embrace it all, together. You really don’t want to be the one-manned ship. That will get old and overwhelming fast.

It’s okay if you don’t want to share your new baby with anyone for a while. Heck, you are the one that carried it for ten months and went through delivery. It’s not fun to just be the exhausted feeder for your child and then have people come over and hold your baby while you miss out on those sweet moments. You will just feel like a cow getting constantly milked.

It’s okay to be overprotective. We all go through that overprotective mom feeling. But let me tell you, when the second kid comes you will be like, “Who wants to watch my kids so I can get a date night. Or a shower.”

It’s okay to still hog your child as they get a little older but it’s also okay and a good thing to let other people that want to be involved to love your child. When your child feels a lot of love, that’s a good thing.

It’s okay to still date your husband and go out on dates. You need that. You will miss your baby so much, but it’s good to work on your marriage, too. Remember when your child leaves one day, you are left with just your spouse. So don’t forget each other.

It’s okay that you’re not going to be that perfect plaid Pinterest family that has it all together. That takes a lot of effort and the all-together image usually only lasts one second or for that one picture, and then the kids are right back to screaming, pulling each other’s hair out, or pooping.

You will experience poop like you never have before. That really is not fun. You will hate it and that’s okay. You will get to the other side when your children become potty trained and you’re not waking up to a crib full of poop in the morning.

It’s okay if you feel like a failure sometimes. You will. But you will also feel like a hero other times. And that’s okay.

It’s okay to get so wrapped up in being a mom that we lose ourselves. And it’s okay to find ourselves again.

You see this is a season, and seasons don’t last forever. We can’t keep trying to enter the next season because when your focus is just surviving and getting to the next season, you miss all the joys of the current season.

That small, precious little angel that came out of you. The little foot. The cries (yes one day you are going to even miss that). The baby babble, the mispronounced words, the breastfeeding, the rocking, the lullabies, the reading books, the just admiring and watching your little one sleep. You are gonna miss it. You may be overjoyed in the next season, but there are precious moments and gifts that we get to unwrap in each season.

So look for the silver linings. Don’t beat yourself up. We all have been there. It’s a new thing raising kids, we’ve never done it before. But you will be great. You were the perfect mother and your child is the perfect child for you. Each of you was hand selected and chosen by God for each other. You both will teach each other, you will learn to love, and develop such an unbreakable bond.

Good luck, mom. Congratulations. I’m cheering you on every step of the way. You’ve got this… and it’s okay if you don’t.

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