My best friend had a baby a couple weeks ago and she’s been texting me on and off, at all hours of the day or night, for advice. Among the answers to the “is this normal?” and “am I doing this right?” questions are the pieces of advice I’ve been intentional in trying to give her; the small bits of encouragement that I got along the way that I found to help me in those first few weeks.
“Don’t quit on your worst day.”
This piece of advice was given to me about breastfeeding, but it can definitely transfer over to other parts of parenting as well. It’s very likely that tomorrow will be better. You’ve had better days than this before and it’s likely you’ll have better days going forward. It can be difficult, not knowing what lies ahead, but newborns change so quickly that you never know how different tomorrow may be. Your baby may be going through a growth spurt, or have an upset stomach, or any number of other very temporary problems. The key word there is “temporary.” Which brings me to my next piece of advice…
“This isn’t forever.”
The sleeplessness, the exhaustion, the cluster feeding, the fussiness, they don’t last forever. You can do this for a day, or a few days, or a few weeks. You won’t always feel so completely exhausted. Your nipples won’t always be sore. You won’t always have to wake up multiple times a night, every night. You can do this for as long as you need to, but remember that it’s not permanent.
“You’re not alone.”
It’s extremely likely that someone you know went through exactly what you’re going through right now. Reach out to your friends and family. Chances are, they want to hear from you anyway. Ask them what they did when their newborn wouldn’t sleep anywhere but on top of them. Ask them what their favorite remedy is for nipple pain (you), or gas (baby), or constipation (both of you). Or just text them to complain about how tired you are. If your friend is a parent, they can probably relate, or at least give you some sympathy. Maybe include a cute baby pic with your text if it’s past midnight.
