My husband and I don’t talk.
You may be surprised to find out that we have a happy marriage. We are going on 9 years of “martial bliss” as my mom used to say.
It’s because we are introverts.
Over the summer, a friend introduced us to the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types {if you are interested, you can take a free online assessment here}. When we took the assessment, we discovered that we actually shared in 3 of the 4 personality areas. The hubs exhibits behaviors of an ISFJ (Introversion + Sensing + Feeling + Judging). I exhibit behaviors of an ISTJ (Introversion + Sensing + Thinking + Judging). He is the feelings to my thinking. I think this may have been the turning point in our marriage. I kid, I kid! I’ll be honest though, as we read the descriptions about ourselves, so many things began to make sense!
My husband’s job requires he deal with the public. He works through other peoples problems 30 minutes at a time. As you might imagine, this can include A LOT of small talk. Which is the worst kind of talk for an introvert.
When he comes home from work, he is ready to just be quiet, to recharge his mind from the day. When we were first married, it really bothered me that he wouldn’t talk to me after we’d spent the whole day apart at work. Over time we evolved into a couple that spends their evenings not chatting about our days apart. Instead we are content being quiet. Usually a show is on TV that neither of us are really watching, and we’re both on our computers working on something that interests us.
I know what you’re thinking…How do decisions get made?? Easily actually. Our days are filled with countless texts back and forth deciding everything from dinner plans to vacations to if we should do home renovations.
Sure, it’s definitely not normal. We get that. But you know what? It works for us. That’s what communication is, right? Finding what works and using it. What works for you and your spouse?
