Tis the season… for toddler meltdowns. To all you moms out there who create a daily schedule with a “back-up, back-up” plan and/or have no shame in the bribery game (or to any moms who have been there and are at that enviable point where you’re actually laughing about it), this is for you:
On the first day of tantrums, my two-year-old gave to me: a meltdown in aisle three.
On the second day of tantrums, my two-year-old gave to me: two gentle shoves
and a meltdown in aisle three.
On the third day of tantrums, my two-year-old gave to me: three “count to 10s”,
two gentle shoves and a meltdown in aisle three
On the fourth day of tantrums, my two-year-old gave to me: four bad words,
three “count to 10s”, two gentle shoves and a meltdown in aisle three.
On the fifth day of tantrums, my two-year-old gave to me: five glasses of wine,
four bad words, three “count to 10s,” two gentle shoves and a meltdown in aisle three
On the sixth day of tantrums, my two-year-old gave to me: six screams while laying,
five glasses of wine, four bad words, three “count to 10s,” two gentle shoves and a meltdown in aisle three.
On the seventh day of tantrums, my two-year-old gave to me: seven heads a spinning,
six screams while laying, five glasses of wine, four bad words, three “count to 10s,” two gentle shoves and a meltdown in aisle three.
On the eighth day of tantrums my two-year-old gave to me: eight evacuated buildings,
seven heads a spinning, six screams while laying, five glasses of wine, four bad words, three “count to 10s,” two gentle shoves and a meltdown in aisle three.
On the ninth day of tantrums, my two-year-old gave to me: nine heads a shaking,
eight evacuated buildings, seven heads a spinning, six screams while laying, five glasses of wine, four bad words, three “count to 10s,” two gentle shoves and a meltdown in aisle three.
On the tenth day of tantrums, my two-year-old gave to me: ten really bad outfits,
nine heads a shaking, eight evacuated buildings, seven heads a spinning, six screams while laying, five glasses of wine, four bad words, three “count to 10s,” two gentle shoves and a meltdown in aisle three.
On the eleventh day of tantrums, my two-year-old gave to me: eleven times in timeout,
ten really bad outfits, nine heads a shaking, eight evacuated buildings, seven heads a spinning, six screams while laying, five glasses of wine, four bad words, three “count to 10s,” two gentle shoves and a meltdown in aisle three.
On the twelfth day of tantrums, my two-year-old gave to me: twelve big wet kisses,
eleven times in timeout, ten really bad outfits, nine heads a shaking, eight evacuated buildings, seven heads a spinning, six screams while laying, five glasses of wine, four bad words, three “count to 10s,” two gentle shoves and a meltdown in aisle three.