I suppose I knew it was coming. I let the idea creep in and out of my mind. I pushed it back and pretended it would get better. Each time I spoke to a teacher about his activity in class. Each time I heard him talk endlessly about what he was thinking about that day. Each time I watched him chew away at what was left of his nails. Each time I have seen him impulsively start something before it is time. Each time I watched him struggle with himself.
I have watched this little man become an incredible human being. He is kind, gentle and patient. He has the biggest heart of anyone I know and is a certified baby whisperer. He has made so many strides and accomplished so much. He has taken so many positive steps, that sometimes I seem to overlook the things that are right in front of us.
As he has struggled in school we have worked as his parents to implement all of the services possible to help him succeed. He has speech therapy, occupational therapy and an intervention specialist to help him as well. When he struggled to see, we got him glasses. When he struggles with acid reflux we give him medicine to help ease the discomfort and when he struggles to breathe, he has an inhaler.
As parents, it is our job to help fix things that can be fixed.
So why is it so hard to accept that maybe your child needs medicine to help this? To help keep their attention and to help them concentrate on learning. To help them focus when their little mind will not allow them to. As a person who is not afraid to say that I am on an anxiety medicine, who am I to say that he can handle this on his own? That he should be able to control his body and his emotions, when maybe he can’t.
I see this brilliantly creative little boy, who is starting to fear failure. He is starting to notice that he can’t read as well as the other kids in his class and that he needs extra help. I see him acting out because he is embarrassed and would rather make people laugh than talk about his school work. I know that even if I have pushed these feelings down and I have tried all I can to help him, sometimes mom isn’t enough. I have bought the essential oils and I have removed the red dyes from his diet. I have met with his team at school and we have tried many approaches, but sometimes you need more than that.
If he was having an asthma attack I would give him his inhaler. If he scraped his knee I would give him a band aid. So, as hard as it may be to come to the realization, he may need more. Our only hope for him is that he can be the best boy that he can be. If that means medicine to help him become that, then we will be there to find the right one. It is amazing what an emotional roller coaster it is to help your child. Parenting him has been the hardest and most rewarding gift we could have ever asked for and I am so grateful to be able to be his mom. So as we go on with this phase of his life we will continue to help him along. With trial and error and a whole lot of prayer.
We made the decision to medicate before Kindergarten. I’m incredibly glad we did, because he’s had a hard enough time even on meds. Know that they may or may not be the magic bullet. It’s hard giving your child such powerful medication. But you’ll know you’re doing the right thing if it works. And if it doesn’t, try another kind until you’ve exhausted all possibilities.