Things My Kid Should Actually be for Halloween

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Halloween Costumes: Things My Kid Should Actually be for Halloween

Forget the princesses, pumpkins and superheroes. Let’s get real. The list of Halloween costumes below is a more satirical realistic representation of our lives. See you later, Elsa. Goodbye, Thomas the Tank Engine. Hello, Smashed Peas!

  • The UPS man who delivers our Amazon packages
  • A dragon who doesn’t love tacos
  • Trail mix lost to the floor of my car
  • The dinner they refuse to eat
  • A ball of emotions (all of them, at one time)
  • Moana but 24/7, 365 days a year because that’s how. much. we. talk. about. MOANA.
  • A toothbrush/chew toy
  • Fancy clothes because Mom’s got plenty she doesn’t wear anymore
  • Jingle bells because they know no seasonal boundaries in our house
  • The florist at Kroger who gives out free balloons and stickers
  • A green crayon (they taste the best 😜)
  • The bean that was once stuck in a nose
  • Favorite sippy cup (subject to change at a moment’s notice)
  • The Cookie Monster
  • A permanent marker (highly sought after, often hidden)
  • The Target dog, Bullseye
  • Unwound roll of toilet paper

Bonus: wishful thinking Halloween costumes:

  • A clean playroom
  • Ruth Bader Ginsburg
  • A good listener
  • A hot cup of coffee
  • Matching socks

What should your children actually be for Halloween? Comment below!

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ashtoncarabin
Born and raised in Tipp City, Ohio surrounded by cornfields and hometown parades. I now live near Ault Park, with my husband, Matt, and two year old boy/girl twins, Shep and Caroline. You can most likely find me dreaming up party themes, the occasional DIY, DVRing reality television to the point of second hand embarrassment, and playing with (more like chasing) my kids around the park. Most days I leave the house uncertain I'm not wearing mom jeans.

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