Is being a stay-at-home dad SAHD? Read classic dad joke into that sentence. It’s not sad at all. In fact, for some couples, it’s the best thing for their family. There’s an archaic stigma that men should be the financial providers for their household, and the cooking, cleaning, and caretaking should automatically fall to the women. This way of thinking should be blown out of the water in today’s age.
It’s all about balance for your family. In the end, you have to do what is best for your core family unit, despite what anyone else thinks or what society’s opinions are. I can readily admit that I am not built to be a stay-at-home mom. I have so much respect and admiration for the women who can do it, because I know I could never be suited to it. Obviously, I’d do it if I had no choice, but I have no qualms owning up to the fact that I would be nowhere as great at it as a lot of you other moms out there doing that incredibly tough job.
I absolutely love working a full-time job and then making time to be a good mom around that. It would not be healthy for my mental state or for my family overall if I were expected to stay at home – my better half and I just know that about myself. Thankfully, my hubby is fully supportive of my career goals, of me going back to grad school, and anything else I want to achieve in this life. He has no issue with doing more than his fair share around the house – cleaning, cooking, doing the dishes, doing the laundry, doing homework with our daughter, etc. – all along with his own career.
We talked a few years ago about having another baby, and we legitimately threw around the idea of him staying at home during the day and working his career into the evenings and weekends while I still worked my full-time day job. In the end, we decided to heed the doctors’ advice and not put my body through another pregnancy. Yet, if we had, he would have been an amazing SAHD and loved every minute of those early experiences.
I have a good friend who loves his job and had lofty career goals for himself. He and his wife recently had their first son, and he has fully rose to the challenge of being the best dad and husband he can possibly be. His wife is a first-time mom and very protective of their first little one, which is totally understandable. She has a great and high-paying job and had it all worked out for her mother to watch their baby for the first year. Now, that arrangement is not going to work out, and she is not comfortable with putting their infant in full-time daycare or paying the $800-$1,200 a month average cost for that either.
She had to muster up the courage to ask her husband if he would be willing to give up his job and be a stay-at-home dad for a year. He was really torn over the decision, but it all made sense as well. I assured him that whatever he decided, it was going to be best for his family. A colleague told him that he should go for it, as he will never get all those first moments with his first son back again. He decided to take the plunge, and he feels no societal guilt for letting his wife be the breadwinner while he stays at home with the kid. He is so excited about his decision now, and he’ll be great at it.
Just figure out what the balance is for your family, no matter the situation, and do what’s best for you. Thanks to all the moms and dads who stay at home with their kids every day – that is no easy job, and child rearing is no easy feat!
