“The Birds & The Bees” Talk goes in three stages:
- Fairy Tale Allusions
- Sanitized Honesty
- The Real Stuff
It’s easy when they’re little toddlers and want to know where babies come from… “Storks bring them.. let’s just watch Dumbo; you’ll see.”
Then they see you or another woman with a big round ball for a stomach and are told there’s a baby in there. I think my kiddo was about three when it occurred to her that if the baby was inside the belly, it had to get out somehow… “Mommy, how does the baby come out? Do you throw it up out of your mouth?” Oh, boy. I had my own revelation at that moment – this conversation is not always going to be so easy.
I said, “No, honey. It doesn’t come out that way…” I see her mind struggling through this, then the words, “Do you poop it out?!” (face palm) “Umm, well, it comes out the mommy’s wee-wee,” (our kid-friendly term in our house for where pee comes out regardless of gender). This is met with a look of disbelief – “That must hurt!!” Tell me about it, kid.
Around five, it evolved to questions like, “But, how does baby get IN the mommy’s belly,” to which I replied, “God plants a little seed in the mommy’s belly when he wants to give her a baby.” This explanation lasted us for quite awhile.
When she turned eight, she suddenly wanted to know why her dad was her dad and what dads are for when it’s the mommy that has the baby inside her. This became a whole new ball game! “Well… the dad is the one who’s with the mommy (as in proximity of course 😉) when the seed is planted and God chooses him to be the daddy. She’s kept pushing this one the past several months trying to find out how this is all supposed to make logical sense. I’ll stall as long as possible!!
Then, tonight, my hubby and I were teasing her about one of her second-grade crushes this year, and she told us she definitely would not kiss a boy. My lovely other half decided to rat me out and say that mommy kissed boys when she was in high school. I’m so obviously innocent, she didn’t believe a word of it. I, in turn, said he kissed his girlfriend in high school, too. Adilyn cried out, “You cheated on my mommy!” We had a good laugh then tried to explain that you can’t cheat on someone if you’ve never even met them yet, and I had to admit to her that yes, I had kissed other boys before I met her daddy.
On that note, my hubby ran into the kitchen and whispered to me, “You’re going to handle the birds and the bees talk when it comes time!” Neither of our parents told us much when we were growing up. We both grew up in church where sex was something to fear and be ashamed of. Whatever her views end up being on sex, my main goal will be to help her understand that is an adult decision and to do our best to have her save that for adulthood. It’s fun to laugh and joke about now while she doesn’t understand any of it yet, but we know the day will be here before we know it.
We haven’t gone through it yet, and we’re just learning as we go. That is all parenthood is! If those of you who have already gone through this stage with your children would be so kind as to share some tips with the rest of us, it would be greatly appreciated! In the meantime, I’ll just keep my fingers crossed that her innocent little mind will be preserved for as long as possible. 😊