“Did that mean old nurse hurt you?”, “If you don’t listen I’m going to tell the doctor to give you a shot,” “It’s not me who wants to do it, the doctor says you have to get a shot.” I have heard these phrases or the likeness of these phrases many times working in the medical field. Shots are a normal, expected, and sometimes necessary part of life. Not a punishment, not a threat. Nor should any healthcare worker be framed as wanting to bring harm to your child by administering them. I would venture to say that 99% of Americans (completely made up statistic) will at some point in their lives require a shot or some intervention that requires a needle. Even those who choose to not vaccinate their children may require an IV or blood draw due to illness or injury. “S-H-O-Ts” happen and as a mother it is my responsibility to help my child learn coping skills to manage this event in life, just as I do any other important elements of her growth. I also happen to be a certified child life specialist in a pediatric emergency room so I may also have a few other tricks up my sleeve that have proven to be helpful. Here, I am sharing some basic tips for creating a successful and more positive experience when getting shots. (Obviously, the earlier you can start modeling and supporting children the better it will be over time.):
- Calm yourself. Children, no matter the age, echo and respond to the stress level of their parents. This does not mean that as a parent you have to mask your emotions completely but rather that you as the adult need to be in control of your own personal stress level and anxieties.
- Be honest. It does no good to hide the truth from children or adolescents. If you are going to the pediatrician to get a check-up and immunization let your child know that. Also shots can and usually do hurt at least a little. Telling your child “they won’t feel it,” does not lead to them build successful coping skills or trust that medical professionals are keeping their bodies safe. Also, never, ever, ever promise your child there will be no shots, especially if you are going to a physician due to illness or injury.
- Talk about it. I actually start talking with my daughter a few weeks before I know she needs to receive a vaccination shot. We discuss why she needs it, what it will feel like, what she can do to help make the experience better and any other random thought she might have about shots. I encourage her and affirm to her that I know she will do just great. We just make it a part of casual conversation every so often. If you have play doctor toys, utilize them during these conversations. I also tell my daughter what I am going to do to help and support her. These conversations are probably the most important part of developing coping skills in your child. You help create a script of control and understanding. She knows what is going to happen, what all the parties involved are going to do and she is equipped as to how to handle it.
- Empower your child by giving them tools to cope. That is, what can they do in response to something they do not have control over (i.e. getting poked with a needle). Luckily, shots are rather quick procedures so this does not have to be very involved. Here are some ideas: simply take a deep breath and blow out (like blowing a birthday candle or bubbles), squeeze a parents hand or hug onto a favorite toy, sing a favorite song, read or look at a favorite book, or play I-Spy. For older children, play a game on a tablet or watch a funny you-tube video. Be creative. There are many ways that a child can choose to a positive way to cope. It is also helpful, if you have already come up with this plan to let the nurse or doctor know what you and your child are going to do.
- Praise your child for any of the steps they were able to master. If you are able to start very young with children this becomes a natural progression. Even when my daughter was tiny, after her shots I joyfully praised her for completing them. So even if your 3 years old does not 100% follow the “plan” that you all had discussed for the past 2 weeks, try to find one or two things that they were able to do and build off of that. Along those same lines, make rewards (if any) proportional to the event. One shot does not equal a new game system. Stickers or a special treat are just fine but kids mostly respond to knowing that you as their parent are proud of them.
- Thank the person/ people that administered the shot(s). Remember that many nurses and doctors are moms and dads too. They all care about children and never want children to be scared, but they need to do their job to keep your child healthy. Modeling for your child gratitude towards healthcare workers will continue to help them appreciate the value of their interventions.
- Don’t apologize. You don’t apologize when you make your child eat broccoli or go to bed on time because those things are meant to keep your child healthy. Shots are not much different. It is fine to recognize that the experience is not exciting or fun, but it is part of life and needs to be treated matter of factly because of that.
There are many resources available to help children with going to the doctor and getting shots. Two of my personal favorites that I have used with my preschool age daughter are “Daniel Tiger goes to the Doctor” (TV show/video) and “Elmo goes to the doctor” (TV show/video and book). A simple google search will give you endless books and videos, so you can fine something that will appeal to your child. Getting shots does not need to be a dreaded experience when going to the doctor. It can be a time when you watch your child master new skills and find pride in their accomplishment.
