Normal Colored Shirts

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“Yes, we’re going to send them.”
“Oh…Really?” 

There’s a formula to a lot of writing about parenting decisions. It goes like this:

  • The problem you’re facing;
  • The solutions you considered;
  • The outcome! Tied up in a nice bow.

Maybe it’s just me, but I have yet to encounter an actual, real-life parenting decision that goes that way. Really, it’s goes like this:

  • You muddle through, facing a myriad of nuanced challenges, many of which have competing interests.
  • The muddling comes to a head. Someone needs to make an adult decision.
  • With a sinking feeling in your gut, it becomes apparent that you’re the only adult available.
  • You take a leap.
  • You second-guess yourself for years.

“Yup. Kindergarten kids!”
“I’m sure they’ll be fine.” 

Normal Colored ShirtsI’m facing a decision like that now, and it’s been pending since I gave birth to twins on September 29, 2011. In my school district, the cutoff for kindergarten is September 30. I can send them, legally, but they will certainly be the youngest kids in the class. I could wait, and “redshirt” them, spending another small fortune on preschool and giving them another precious year to play and mature before they’re faced with the behemoth that is decades of formal education. Obviously, I’m completely clueless.

Right now, though, here are the factors that play into our decision: 1.) They seem academically and socially ready-ish. Ready enough, anyway. 2.) We have increasingly become concerned that their current childcare situation isn’t meeting their needs. 3.) They want to go. 4.) It’s a responsible decision, financially. 5.) The logistics of have all three kids at the same school are appealing.

Also? Sorry kids, I don’t mind that you’ll be the last to get your drivers’ licenses (can you…NEVER, please?) I don’t really mind that you’re going to be with older kids who challenge you and push you. I don’t think you’re going to end up as world class athletes. I am SLIGHTLY hesitant about the idea of your leaving for college at 17, but…? It worked out okay for me.

I just hope that being developmentally unready for some aspects of school (the sitting still, mostly) doesn’t sour them to education, doesn’t frustrate them to the point of disengagement.

I hope that this decision doesn’t hurt them, competitively, in the increasingly obnoxious arms race through primary and secondary education. I hope that I’m not putting an insufficient price on the fleeing beauty of childhood play.

I ask every mom I meet, if she gave birth in the fall. The ones who waited are convincing. They speak about children who lead socially and have been accommodated by their schools’ policy to allow them to take math with the grade up. The ones who didn’t are convincing, too. “I’ve never regretted it for a minute,” say some moms, talking about how their kids came into their own, elevated by their older peers.

I’ll ever know, though, what’s down the path I’m not taking. Every time they struggle academically or socially, I’ll worry it’s because of their age. I’ll worry that, if I had just waited, it would have been different. I’ll worry.

But, we’re taking the leap. Little birds, please be okay.

Parents of fall babies: here are a few articles that helped us make our decision. Good luck.

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Maddie Forrester
Maddie is a recent transplant to the Northern Kentucky Area, where she moved last spring after a decade in Columbus, OH. She’s the mom of three kids: A son, born in 2009, and twin girls, born in 2011. This is as exhausting as it sounds. Luckily, she thrives on chaos. She balances the glamour of working full time with the rigors of first grade homework, playing dress-up, and moving mountains (both metaphorical mountains, and mountains of laundry). She had hobbies once, but doesn’t quite remember what they were. Now, when she gets a moment of free time, she uses it to catch up on her wine and/or sleep, usually in that order. She also loves to cooking, running, singing badly while playing her guitar even worse, and reading.

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