Dear Advertisers: You’ve Got Me All Wrong


Disclosure: This post is sponsored, however we agree with our partners @POSSIBLE that moms are so much more than how we are portrayed in advertising and the media. We are excited to help spread the word about this innovative campaign.

Dear Advertisers, It’s me: a modern mom. You know, the one that you are trying to reach in your efforts because you know something about me. You’ve done your research, and you know that I have a lot of influence over my family’s consumer habits. I make a lot of the purchasing decisions in my household, both big and little. What I think matters to you. But somehow, you’ve managed to get me all wrong. Modern motherhood has changed in the 21st century, and so have I. You haven’t been keeping up, and when I see your ads on Hulu or Facebook or during a commercial break in the middle of my favorite shows, it really turns me off. Let me tell you what you seem to think I am, but I am not:


  1. I am not a domestic goddess. In case you didn’t know, mothers are no longer the only ones doing the cooking and cleaning in their household. The fastest way to burn your bridges with me is to imply that all your cooking and cleaning products are for me. ‘Coz guess what? It’s an equal division of labor around here. My husband and I both make an income outside the home. We are both busy people, and we share the work load, whether it’s doing the dishes, mowing the lawn, fixing the plumbing (yes, I have a wrench, and I’m not afraid to use it), caring for the children, and also holding down a job that pays the bills. #MomsAreMore
  2. I am not “one-size-fits-all.” You seem to think all moms are either one of two extremes: a hot mess or over-the-top perfectly put together. You seem to think all moms are skinny, do yoga, eat salad for lunch, and wear pony tails. You seem to think all moms are white, married, heterosexual, upper middle-class, living in suburbia in big fancy homes. We’re not. I’ll tell you what, if you were to spend a day at my house, you would find that most of the time I’m somewhere in the middle between hot mess and perfectly put together. I am both and neither, and it can change by the minute. I eat salad, but I also love burgers and steak. I try to take care of myself, and sometimes that looks like yoga, and other days it’s swimming. My friends and I live comfortably, our needs are met, but we aren’t extravagant. Some of us have partners, some don’t. Some of those partners are men, some are women. We’re are all different, and when you try to fit us all into one mold, it just doesn’t work. #MomsAreMore
  3. I am not one-dimensional. I love my kids. I love being a mom. But that is not everything that I am. Not even close. My titles and roles may come and go, but I am still myself. You need to recognize that I have more to me than simply being the driver to the extra-curricular events, the master grass stain remover, and the kisser of the boo-boos. I want and need to spend time not just nurturing my children, but nurturing myself as a person outside of motherhood. I do that through having a career as a doula which keeps me engaged and learning new things. I do that through taking long weekends away with good friends and no kids from time-to-time (I call it my CEO Vacation). I do that through reading good books, trying new foods, and being an active, contributing member within my community as a writer and connector of resources. I’m a mom, but quit trying to flatten me into just a mom only. #MomsAreMoreAdvertisers: You've Got Me All Wrong

Those are the things I am not, dear advertisers, so what are the things that I am? You will never get to create a single caricature or stereotype around me, but here are a few of the things that I am:

  1. I am strong. Even on the days I don’t believe it, I am strong. In the past you’ve pegged us for weak and passive, but I hope you are getting the memo that we are anything but that. I am the instigator of big change in society, the builder of great things in our community, and a vital member of our family. I may not always be fearless (because what human is?), but I can always find a way to rise to the challenges I face. And let’s be real, as a mom, there are many. Don’t try to insinuate that your products are going to fix me and my broken life: tell me how I can use your products to wield the strength and power I already possess, and use it for even greater things. #MomsAreMore
  2. I am creative and intelligent. As a modern mom, I’ve found a way to do things that women before me couldn’t do. Things like, working and generating an income. I find ways to use my talents, gifts, and intelligence to improve not just myself and my family, but also the community as a whole, and I do it creatively. I’ve innovated new ways of doing things, so that I can be the best me I can be, both as a mother, and as a woman. #MomsAreMore
  3. I love my kids. Like: fierce. You might think you know that, but do you really know that? I sacrifice a lot for the little humans who call me mom. All parents do. I work unimaginably hard for them. Motherhood is often a thankless job, but I often use the best of my strength, creativity, and intelligence in order to improve my kids’ lives. The details may look different from how the next mom does it, but in this one sense we are all the same: we are all trying to find and do what’s best for ourselves and our children. Quit trying to insinuate anything different, and quit trying to drive a wedge between me and the next mom doing her thing by making it about these “mommy wars,” and instead focus on the way that we all unconditionally love our children. #MomsAreMore

And that, dear advertisers, is what we are. Stop trying to paint a singular picture of who and what moms are and do. Stop perpetuating stereotypes about motherhood and what it means to be a woman. We are tired of it, and we’re moving on. You can try to keep up, or we will go ahead and leave you behind. Sincerely, A Modern Mom

We’d love to hear what you have to say about how #MomsAreMore. Whether it’s your mom, or you, your story matters.

Join the conversation with @POSSIBLE here:





Join the movement to help marketers realize that #MomsAreMore!


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