I once was told that God gave me two kids because I have two hands. One hand to hold each child’s hand. And that was plenty for me. As a wide-eyed naïve girl, growing up I determined that I would have five children. I have no idea why I thought 5 children would be the perfect number, but for me, that was definitely overshot!
I had fertility issues associated with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) and had quite a difficult time getting pregnant the first time. In fact, after a few surgeries and medications, I did get pregnant with twins, but that pregnancy ended in miscarriage. It was decided I would be high risk after that and was told that getting pregnant again might be even more difficult if not impossible.
After some time, I got pregnant again, and immediately was monitored closely the entire pregnancy. There were some complications with the delivery, but thankfully my Elijah was born, healthy and pretty darn near perfect!
I got pregnant again a few years later and was monitored very closely again, and my Ethan was born a few weeks early. He had some intense jaundice issues and had to have a few surgeries at a young age for some urology issues, but today he is just perfect.
A year after Ethan was born, I knew at that point I was done having children. I have my two boys and I am overwhelmingly blessed. After I was told I would probably not be able to have children, I was thankful with what I had been given!
Done Having Kids
I started to look into permanent birth control methods. I had previously been on DepoProvera and that had very serious side effects on me. Birth control pills worked fine, but it was such a hassle having to rely on the pills every day and all the extra hormones were a little crazy.
I decided to have a tubal ligation because I was only 34. To me, a hysterectomy was extreme and at that point, not medically necessary. The tubal ligation was a success and things seemed to be ok for a few months. Unfortunately, that success soon turned into immense pain and unbelievably horrible cycles every month. At that point, my doctor told me I would need to have a hysterectomy. After several months of the pain and discomfort, I was perfectly fine with that!
At 35, I had a hysterectomy. I got some slack from people asking why I would have permanent birth control at such a young age. What if I decided I wanted more children? Didn’t I want to try for a girl?
All my pregnancies were high risk and I was certainly lucky to have two healthy boys. I knew my family was complete and I was content with my two miracles.
I definitely feel like there’s a stigma around women who take control of their own fertility at a “young” age. Sure, there was a lot of outside pressure on me to not to have the surgery. People thought they knew what I needed.
I’m getting remarried in a few months and my fiancé never had his own children. We discussed this early in our relationship and he was perfectly fine with me not being able to have children of our own. He’s accepted my children into his life and he’s going to be a fantastic step-father to my children.
For me, having a hysterectomy at 35 was an option that made sense. It was the right decision for me and my life and one that only I could make. Honestly, it’s been one of the best medical decisions I’ve made. If this is a decision you are facing currently or in the future, make sure you make it for the right reasons. Make it YOUR decision and take control of your own fertility. I don’t regret it!