Recently, I was looking at pictures from my sons 4th birthday party and I couldn’t help but think how different the guests were in comparison to those at his 1st birthday. The friends who have stuck with us through our journey hold a special place in our hearts. Becoming a mom totally rocks your world. You have this tiny little person who you love so much and yet you also find yourself longing for the mom groups, coffee dates and the meaningless wandering around Target with a friend, you had pre-kids. Not only is nice for your kids to meet a friend at the park, its nice for the moms too.
I absolutely despise the saying ” when life slows down….” Life will never slow down, you are a mom. You have to make friendships a priority. I feel very strongly about this. I also feel that I am a pretty good friend, if I do say so myself. I am not saying I need to see you everyday, but heck with technology now adays you can shoot someone a text that lets them know you are thinking about them. Often those little things are more than enough. Some people are totally content with catching up twice a year, but I am not. I am not interested in discussing what my kids got for Christmas in May.
Here is why I think maintaining all kinds of friendships should be a priority. My best friend of 25 years was not at my son’s 4 th birthday. Why is it so hard to maintain friendships when we become parents? I consider my husband my best friend, but outside of that you need a support system. The friend who will not roll her eyes as your son has a tantrum at the oh-so perfect Joseph- Beth story time. The friend who will help you assemble your kids trampoline on the weekend, even though they have a thousand other errands to run. The friend that will help you answer your daughter’s 759th question about Taylor Swift. The journey of parenthood is a crap shoot for all of us. No matter how many books, blogs, and magazines you read we are all just winging it. And its best to do it in good company.
It is also important to maintain friendships with your friends who may not have any children (yet). If you partied in Mt. Adams, cabrewed down the Little Miami and helped each other move apartments multiple times, then you are invested in that friendship, and having a baby shouldn’t change it. While meeting for coffee takes 3 times as long now with a newborn, you won’t regret taking the time to meet with your friends. Sending a card on your friend’s birthday may seem meaningless but the effort will not go unnoticed. Having friends without children is also a good way to break up the diaper changing, ABC singing, jumperoo kind of a day that you are accustomed to.
Making friends with parents you meet at your kids school is a newer experience for me, but I also find it important. My daughter is only in kindergarten so I am slowly making new mom friends. Establishing friendships with other parents that are engaged in the same activities is important because chances are over the next 10 years we are gonna become besties while manning the snack bar at school. My husbands ridiculously sarcastic personality and my harsh exterior have made this endeavor a little challenging; but I think they are starting to like us 🙂
I have found that in order to maintain good friendships with people you must put in an effort. Do to others as you would want done to you. Holding your friends newborn baby so she can actually eat with 2 hands, calling up your other friend for advice on sight word reading tricks, and then meeting your single friends for margaritas to hash over wedding plans all in one day is a great way to fellowship with all of those who are important to you.
