Confessions of a Frumpy Mom

I am not a put together kind of girl. Most everything I wear has a hole (or two, or three). Those rare items that are without, are most likely speckled with grease stains or paint splatter. By the end of the day, my hair looks as though I have spent several hours standing directly in front of an industrial fan. At some point over the past ten years, amidst a daily barrage of spit up, boogers, and sticky fingers, I convinced myself that I didn’t care. So long as I was comfortable with my appearance, it didn’t matter what others may see. Logical thinking. Except for the fact that I’m not really comfortable. And I do care. Very much.

My goal is not to be a magazine caliber momma. I will never venture out, kids in tow, in high heeled shoes. You will never see me wearing a cute little dress, tromping around the zoo or chasing the kids at the playground. That’s just not me. And that part, at least, I’m okay with. There are days, however, many days, where I wish I could lose the frumpy, exhausted mom look and go with something a little…well, a little less embarrassing. Yeah, I’ll admit it, I embarrass myself.

And I’ll admit something else. I am jealous. I’m jealous of the moms I see out and about who, despite the little people dancing around them, still manage to look amazing. Hair brushed and styled. Makeup perfectly done. Trendy clothes without a hole in sight. I would love to take a walk in their shoes, and not the two year old sneakers I bum around in.

So why can’t I fix this? I know it’s a problem. And there seems to be an easy solution. All it would take, theoretically, is a little more effort on my part. Maybe as simple as a glance in the mirror before I leave the house. I can’t tell you how many times I have been standing in the check out line at the grocery store, only to look down and discover a large spot of something or other on the leg of my jeans. Or stickers all over my shirt (or in my hair – true story). I think, though, that it might not be so easy.

I know that I can attribute this tendency partially to poor body image. I have never loved my physical appearance. My weight tends to fluctuate with my mood. Something that fits well in the store may look absolutely awful by the time I put it on again at home. As a result, I gravitate toward those few things that look okay more often than not. I find a shirt that I like and I buy an extra a few one in every color. And then I wear them until they get holes in places that are borderline indiscreet.

More than that, I think my somewhat less-than-stellar appearance is due to a lack of focus. I get so caught up in caring for everyone else I forget to take a moment to take care of me. I’d rather buy that $5 t-shirt than spend $45 on a sweater, knowing that the leftover can be spent on pants for my son (because he can’t wear his sister’s hand-me-downs forever). And those few extra minutes I would have to invest each morning prepping myself for the day? There is most definitely someone who needs that time more than I do.

Perhaps from here on out I will resolve to try a little bit more. Perhaps I will set aside just a little extra money each month to invest in some clothing without holes. Perhaps I will set the alarm five minutes earlier to give myself a bit more attention in the morning. Or, even better, make everyone else wait just five minutes more. Admittedly, a very small change. But I will have to take this one step at a time. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll treat myself to a nice pair of shoes to take it in.