Moms, I’ll be the first to admit that at 33-years-old, my dreams look totally different than they did years ago. My life totally turned out different than I thought it was going to. Let me take you on a walk down memory lane.
Faith Like a Child
When I was growing up, I LOVED everything Disney ( spoiler alert, I still do today). I enjoyed getting immersed in the stories about princesses, pirates, far off lands and magical places. I truly believed I could do anything or be anything I wanted to be. I loved happy endings. As a child, I believed I could have my own happy ending when I grew up.
Oh boy, did I grow up. As we all do, we learn that life throws you many twists and turns. Life doesn’t always have a happy ending. Dreams take time. Dreams also change as we grow…
Finding my Passion
When I was 16, I wanted to work to have spending money. I got a job at a local grocery store as a bagger. Eventually, after paying my dues, I worked my way up to cashier. When I graduated high school, I was not ready to go to college. I ended up working full-time. I transferred into the GM area, and became an assistant department manager.
I poured my life into my work. Life was about work, not about anything else. It got so bad that I took work home WITH me. I was obsessed. I became unhappy, burned out and miserable after a couple years. I decided it was time to go to college. Life shouldn’t be about work all the time.
I decided to major in Nursing, because I wanted to make my family happy by getting a job in a medical profession. I disliked every moment. I needed to find MY dream. Around this time, I began going to church. I started to work in the children’s ministry and LOVED IT. I changed my major to Early Childhood Education and graduated. I was on cloud 9. I felt like I was going to make a difference in this crazy world. I was going for my DREAM.
A week before my graduation, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, Ellie. I was nervous, excited and scared. I applied for a daycare job, got it and left my retail job of 11 years. At first, I loved it. I was playing with kids and I was getting paid for it?! Score.
However, over the next couple years I found out daycare jobs were not steady. They are FULL of drama and high turnover. I hopped from daycare to daycare. This field meant that I had to take work home with me, lesson plan and prepare before every day. I began to feel burned out again, hating my job. I was spending every evening not mentally or physically present with my husband and daughter. My mind was on work, and what I had to do. This was not a good place to be.
What’s Most Important
Not going to lie, I felt bummed when I considered quitting again. I felt like a failure. I kept questioning myself, wondering if it was the right decision to leave, again. But, I couldn’t live the way I was living anymore. I did something I never thought I would do. I walked out of my job. Yep. Walked out. Got my things, my girl and walked on out. I was refusing to let my job run my life anymore. I felt freedom in that moment.
I’m back at a grocery store now, working at the customer service desk. I love it. I can be around people, and still make a difference to the people around me. Wanna know the BEST part? I clock in/ out. I come home. I’m mentally and physically present to my husband and daughter. I’m not taking any work home with me EVER again.
I love to serve at church with the children even more now. It’s not just another thing I have to do. It’s something I love again. I don’t feel burned out or stressed anymore. I’m a healthier and happier mommy/wife to my family.
Do I know what my future is going to hold? Nope. But, I know I’m where I’m supposed to be for now. It may not be my original dream, but it’s the perfect dream for now.
