Amazing sex with your husband is… amazing. If they are considerate and like to make sure you have all your fun before they finish having theirs, even better. Unfortunately, some things can happen to your body after childbirth – and especially after a traumatic birth.
I, myself, had a traumatic birth that required a LOT of stitching. The resulting scar tissue was insane. My nerve endings (you know, the ones that make you feel all tingly down there) were completely shot. When the stitches healed and I got back in the groove of things after a few months, sex still felt amazing, but I never could climax. It took a full few years to get all my nerve endings healed. This unfortunate side effect to my birthing experience caused some tension in my marriage.
My husband kept thinking it was something wrong with him that he couldn’t “make” me come for that period of time. I kept trying to tell him that my body just hadn’t healed all the way and hopefully it would, but that I enjoyed every sensation while we had sex, and I loved having that closeness and connection with him that had become more important to me than just sex for just the sake of climaxing. It still bothered him, as much as I tried to convince him of what was ALL TRUTH. Sometimes we just wouldn’t even have sex for stretches of time. I kept trying, putting on sexy lingerie, hose, heels, and sultry lip colors.
Eventually, we made it to the point where my nerve endings all healed, and it’s been incredible since then! Sex is better now the last couple years than ever before. He definitely knows again these days how attracted I still am to him and how wonderful he makes my body feel. It did affect both of us for awhile though, but we made it through and that part of our marriage is stronger than ever. It was great to really have a chance to appreciate sex in marriage as is one of its purposes: to find a safe haven and release form the world in each other’s bodies. The physical closeness easily translates into emotional closeness. It’s a beautiful thing – but I’m definitely glad my nerve endings came back to life in full force! If you’ve ever struggled with your sex life after kids, know you are not alone and don’t give up. It’s so important not to!
