Passionate About Cincinnati
and the Moms Who Live Here

White Mom Challenge: Hair

hairAs soon as I found out I was having a girl, all my biracial girlfriends who grew up with white moms came flocking with their advice…

“You never know how her hair will turn out.”

“Her hair texture can change around one year old.”

“However, her hair is by age five is pretty much how her hair will always be.”

“Don’t use pink lotion on biracial girls’ hair!!!”

“If her hair turns out coarse and/or really tightly curled, ask for help!”

They all regaled me with their tales of woe from their white moms ruining their hair throughout their childhood and pleaded with me not to torture my baby girl in that manner. I heeded their advice, and promised that if my little one’s hair turned out really coarse or anything I couldn’t handle, I would enlist the help of someone who could do her hair for me/teach me how to take care of it properly.

This white mom’s got it easy, however! She has soft, beautiful curls that are easily managed with a daily deep conditioning treatment and a leave-in conditioning spray. I play around with different French braids and other fun styles for her. I have never put “pink lotion” in her hair. I use the general rule of brushing curls from the bottom and then gradually moving the brush strokes upward towards her scalp.I have a couple examples of my favorite hair styles for her texture of hair below.

biracial hairShe loves to take her hair out at school, but then she usually gets it all tangled up, and it’s a mess to brush back out after her bath. She was letting other kids play in her hair and braid it, but I had to end that after a few terrible knots she came home with. I told her that if she kept messing with her hair at school and it kept getting knotted, I might have to cut it off, and she’d look like a boy! (lol) “Oh no, Mommy, I don’t want to look like a boy! I’ll make sure nobody plays with my hair.” I feel bad for her sometimes, though, because it was no problem for my friends to play in my hair and braid it for me when I was growing up. I have to be protective of her hair, though, because it still takes a lot of work to maintain.

biracial hairdoHer hair is just one thing that makes her stand out from both of her heritages. In future posts, I will talk more about the other struggles of a parent with a biracial child and what children of mixed races have to face during their lives. If any of you have experience in this or suggestions for future posts, please comment below!  Biracial families are becoming more common and more accepted these days, and there is a lot from the parenting perspective that is a challenge moms of single-race kids don’t have to face. Community and awareness is what brings about understanding and accepting of all kids.

Please share any other styles you think I should try!

4 Responses to White Mom Challenge: Hair

  1. Michelle April 29, 2016 at 11:43 am #

    I am a African American mother of a biracial child and I still find it difficult to do my child’s hair. Many people have the notion, “oh since you are black you automatically should know how to care for a biracial child’s hair”…. Well that is not the case for me. She has the softer texture and loose curls. I am used to tighter curls like my own hair. I also have a challenge with her knowing her own identity. She constantly identifies herself as being white. She recently started school this year and she notices skin color now. I have been trying to educate her on her race but she still seems to get confused. My daughter is a vibrant 6 yr old and having a biracial child us it’s owns challenges. I really appreciate this post.

    • Courtney Snow April 29, 2016 at 1:55 pm #

      Michelle, I am so glad you commented on this! I am glad also to know that we have diversity in our readership! 🙂 I have heard before that A/A moms should know all about biracial hair. I’m glad you pointed out that’s not true. I still have to beg one of my daughter’s grandmothers from her dad’s side to NOT put the pink lotion in her hair like she always put in her own daughter’s hair growing up. I feel like we should all talk about what the challenges and blessings are with having a biracial family besides the usual, “Mixed kids are so beautiful” line.

      From the past six years, what methods have you found that work for your daughter’s hair? Why has she identified as being white up until starting school? Do you have any topics you’d like me to research and write about in the future on the topic of what our girls go through, and what we go through raising them?

      I would love to hear more from you! Thanks again for commenting and sharing your personal experience in this area. 🙂


  2. Rachel September 15, 2017 at 9:37 am #

    My daughter is biracial and I struggle finding great products for her hair. Her hair is coarse, thick, and has tighter curls. Her dad constantly tells me she has “black” hair so I don’t understand how to care for it. Pink lotion is one he always uses. What would you recommend?

    • Courtney Snow
      Courtney Snow September 15, 2017 at 6:28 pm #


      Thanks so much for the comment! I wanted to write the post, because there are so many opinions surrounding how to take care of biracial hair. The genes all merge in a variety of ways!! 🙂

      I have heard that pink lotion works for coarser hair, but it should not be used on fine, smoother hair like my daughter’s.

      If she has coarse hair, I definitely recommend talking to women that have coarser hair and find out what products they’ve found that work well for them!! You’re asking the questions – that’s the best thing for your daughter. 🙂


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