Believe it or Not: A Letter to My Tweenage Daughter

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TweenageGrowing up is not easy. The past few months have been a bit rough, as I am sure you know. The next few years, like it or not, may follow suit. As you make your way through these “tweenage” years, it may become increasingly more difficult to believe I can offer you anything worthwhile. Admittedly, there will be some things that I will not understand. Those you will have to figure out for yourself (you CAN do it!). There are, however, a few things that I DO know.

You are BEAUTIFUL, inside and out. Believe it or not, I don’t have to say this because I am your mom. I want to say it because it is true. I know right now your focus is shifting to all those tiny imperfections you try so hard to find in yourself. As I’ve said time and again, the “you” that you see every time you look in the mirror is ten thousand times more flawed than that which everyone else can see. What you may feel you lack externally pales in comparison to the girl you are inside. Believe it or not, who you are is vastly more important than how you look. Your kind nature, your ability to see the best in everyone, your sweet heart – THAT is real beauty. And you have it in abundance.

There will be tears. Lots of them. Believe it or not, you will probably cry more in the next ten years than you did in the first ten. And that’s okay. Do not ever be ashamed of that. You come by it honestly, trust me. Frustration, anger, sadness – they are all part of life. Some people yell. Some people grump. You cry. And then you heal.

You will hate me, or at least think that you do. Anger is real and raw. And parenting is tough. You will not be thrilled with every decision I make. Some will be inconvenient. Some will seem unfair. And a few might actually be the wrong one. But that is life. So get angry. Stomp your feet. Slam your door if you have to. But please remember, as much as you may hate me, I will never stop loving you. Believe it or not.

Some day we’ll be friends. Believe it or not, there will come a time when you look forward to spending time with me. Someday, you might even miss me. But right now, as much as I want to, I can not be your BFF. Right now, I have to be your mom. I must encourage you to make good choices, and I must hold you accountable when you don’t. Trust me, I don’t enjoy it any more than you do. I don’t pretend that you will believe me when I say I punish because I care. Someday, maybe, if you have children of your own, you will get it. Until then, you’ll just have to trust me.

I really and truly DO understand. Believe it or not, I was a ten year old girl once too. I remember the confusion, the hurt, that awful “why me?!” feeling. I’ve been there. So when you need to talk, I am ready to listen.

Life will get harder before it gets easier. I hate to say it, but it is the truth. You will find out soon enough. The decisions will get tougher, the consequences more severe. You’ll be faced with things I wish I could protect you from. But I can’t. Please, please remember, when life seems overwhelming and you feel as if there is absolutely nothing you can do, I am here. Believe it or not, there is nothing you can do that will make me give up on you.

You will get through the next ten years. Will there be bumps in the road? For sure. Will you stumble, sometimes fall? Absolutely. But remember this, if nothing else – I will be with you through it all. Because I love you, believe it or not.

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Emily Ringo
I am a Cincinnati girl, born and raised. After a brief hiatus to attend the University of South Carolina (go Cocks!), my husband and I moved back home with a 1 year old in tow (she's now 10!). Since then, we have added three more kiddos to our family (ages 6, 4 and 2), and I am lucky enough to hang out with them all day. We love reading, getting crafty, and making huge messes that we will definitely clean up...tomorrow. When I'm not surrounded by children, I dabble in exercise, enjoy reading a good book, and can frequently be found binging on Netflix with my favorite guy. About a year ago, a Pinterest “I can do that!” project painting little superheroes for my son turned into an Etsy shop (etsy.com/shop/woolyllama) which I manage to run in my “free time”. I may be slightly sleep deprived, but I wouldn't trade a minute of my crazy, busy, wonderful life!

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