Recently, I took my eight and a half year old to her annual checkup, and her pediatrician started going through the usual questions of whether she ever worried about not having enough food at home, anything bad or scary had happened to her recently, whether she had chores around the house, etc.
All went as usual while she sat crisscross on the exam table; her doc sat at the computer typing in the answers, and I sat with my attention on the doctor. Then, we got to the question of whether anyone in the house ever yelled or got really angry… Dead silence. Both we adults slowly glanced back to look at the now-silent chatterbox. She had this half-unsure, half-nervous scrunched up look to her face. She looked to me as if waiting for me to tell her what the right answer was. I chuckled and said, “You about to call me out, kid?!“
Her pediatrician smiled also and said, “It’s okay. Moms get angry sometimes.”
You could see the sigh of relief physically come out of my daughter. She gave us a shy laugh and a relieved smile. Thankfully, my pediatrician knows me well enough to know abuse is not present in our home.
I was relieved as well. I know I’m not always perfect at controlling my temper and can lose my patience at times. Sometimes, those moments when I fall short make me question how good of a mother I am and whether my kid will grow up to think I failed her in the love and compassion department. It is so reassuring to receive affirmation from a professional that is tasked with keeping kids safe and healthy that I’m actually a good mom despite my many flaws.
I think it was great for Ady to know her mom is pretty “normal” too. Her doctor went on to tell her that moms sometimes get really frustrated when we repeat ourselves over and over and over and occasionally get mad as a result.
I was really grateful for the experience and that Adilyn will likely be an even more well-adjusted kid for the conversation as well.
So, to all you mommas out there that feel guilty you don’t keep it together 100% of the time, take it from a professional – moms get angry sometimes. And that’s okay.