Did you ever have one of those days, weeks, months, years where you’re blindly scrambling to keep up with family, work, life… showering? And then all of a sudden you’re like, oops, it’s my kid’s birthday tomorrow?! Guess they make those belated birthday cards for a reason. Scouts honor, I was never like this before I had kids. I have several family members, who shall remain nameless (cough, Grandma, cough) that are never on time, so there’s a possibility it’s an inherited gene.
Did you know there’s an actual day to celebrate being late for something? Me neither, but September 5, 2016 is THE day. On this day we will salute you people running out the door fifteen minutes late with two different shoes and a baby bag wide open trailing diaper wipes in your frantic wake (not me, wink wink). Or, be like my Grandma, casually strolling to your car an hour behind schedule quite pleased that you made it out of the house, without your robe, by noon.
Well then, National Be Late for Something Day, I shall take you up on your offer. Read on for some last minute kid’s birthday party themes and gifts below:
- Camp Theme – Set up your old tent or those cute teepees (why do these only come in kid’s size?) as camp headquarters in your backyard. Then, drag out all that crap in your garage you have hiding like coolers, plaid blankets, fishing rods, and marshmallow roasting sticks and prepare yourself to hear a lot of corny s’mores jokes. Or, if you have a child that doesn’t appreciate the rugged outdoors like yours truly, go all pink and spin it; glamourous + camping = glamping.
- “The Great Birthday Bake Off” Theme as a play on PBS’s “The Great British Bake Off” – Think easy like decorating cookies, assembling trail mix and topping pizzas with items kids would find hilarious (read: pickles, marshmallows and sardines). Large dishtowels can be used as makeshift aprons for messy kids. Use your most authentic British accent purely for your own comedic relief. But, I’d store the knives for another day for any sous chefs who want to work on their knife skills.
- One Color and/or Rainbow Theme – Check out your local Dollar General and/or Target party aisle for matching plates, streamers and balloons for an easy, cohesive look. Because, trust me, the two different shoes day, as mentioned above, was a not a good look. DONE AND DONE.
- Biker Gang Theme – Invite kids to bring their own trikes (known as hogs for the day), scooters and their old lady for a hangout. I’d stock your fridge with old-timey root beer bottles. A few temporary ‘I heart mom’ tattoos and bandanas for cruising are requirements, as well.
- Dog Theme – We don’t have a dog (because I don’t need anyone else to take care of) but, my kids LOVE dogs. One of these days I might soften and a dog may be a future birthday present. I ONLY write this because they’re not old enough to read this. However, if, and that’s big IF, that day comes I’ll be sure to have a dog themed party and invite all of our dog friends, owners included, complete with grilled hotdogs (organic, of course!) and doggie treats.
Theme? Check. Now on to gifts because no one is interested in receiving my jar of random items I’ve fished from my twins mouths or that 1/2 bottle of wine I’ve been meaning to finish. And what cherubic angel child doesn’t deserve more toys? Groan. Bonus points to parents who can get away with only buying a toy for the birthday boy/girl. Here are some of my favorite toy spots in Cincy:
- Oakley Square – One parking lot for three great stores: King Arthur’s Castle, Spotted Goose, and Blue Manatee. Looks like with all the time you just saved, you’ve earned yourself coffee at Deeper Roots. Enjoy.
- Kenwood Mall (if you’re feeling adventurous) for the Lego Store, Build-A-Bear, and the Disney Store.
- Two Pink Balloons – A Cincinnati-local Etsy craft store for felt toys and costumes that encourage make-believe and learning. Again, what’s up with only kid’s sizes? I want to look like a unicorn too.
- Toys R’Us – The name says it all.
- Target – Hello, old friend. I needed just an excuse to buy other crap I don’t really need.
Happy (possibly, belated) Birthday, indeed.