Yes, I bribe my kid. And no, I’m not sorry.

0

Before I became a mom, I thought “I’ll never bargain with or bribe my kid.  He/she will do what he is told, and that’s that!”  Oh little, naive me. How silly.  How cute.

My son is not yet two, and I’ve already gone back on that.

cincymomsblog-bribe

All in all, I have a really good kid.  He was a fairly easy baby (except for a stint of time around 4 months old where he was almost inconsolable for a few hours during the day).  His worst offense, really, was that he constantly spit up for the first 7 months of his life. And now he is just a persistent drooler.  But all things considered, it could be worse.  And now, as a toddler, he loves to help out around the house (picking up trash, unloading the dishwasher, doing the laundry).  He even listens fairly well.  He goes to bed and naps with little to no fuss.  He’s a generally happy kid.  We’re lucky.

But every now and again, toddlerhood rears its head and stubbornness sets in.  A toddler meltdown ensues , he refuses to listen, or something.  And it’s these times that we sometimes influence behavior by offering choices (alternatives we can live with) and even rewards.  These tend to make our interactions smoother and result in a lot less headache all around.

A few nights ago, I made a barbeque pasta for dinner.  It was delicious.  A little sweet, a little tangy, lots of cheese.  It contained all things that my son likes.  But for whatever reason, he wasn’t having it (instead, the little booger asked me for a hotdog for dinner… Uh, no).  After trying to convince him it was stuff he liked, I tried a different tactic.

Me: “Would you like a cookie?”
Ian: (who was previously balling his eyes out at the injustice of me making him eat food that he actually likes) “COOKIE?! YES!”
Me: “OK. Then you need to eat your dinner.  You need to take 6 bites.” (the number of bites is fairly arbitrary, but I tried to gauge it so that it resulted in him eating at least 2/3rds of the food on his plate.)
Ian: Considers the offer, remembers the cookie, and then opens his mouth for a bite.
Me: “Alright, this is bite 1.”  Put food in mouth.  “You have 5 more bites to go.  Let me know when you’re ready for bite 2.”
And this continues fairly well without incident through about bite 4.  Until…
Ian: “Cookie???”
Me: “No, not yet. You still have 2 more bites.”
Ian: Despair clouding his voice, “…cook-ie?”
Me: “No, not yet.  Remember, you have to take 6 bites.  You have only taken 4.  Are you ready for bite 5?”
Ian: “No.”
Me: “OK, then no cookie. That was the deal.”
Ian: Long pause.  Then eventually “Bite!”

And the last two bites go down quickly without fuss.  Then it’s off to the fridge to grab the cookie.  He dances with anticipation as I grab the Oreo out of the package.  I start to close the door when he looks at me questioningly “No. Cookie, ma?”  Apparently I’m supposed to grab one, too.  At least he’s considerate.  And hey, that’s even a pretty good deal… I enforced my rule with little to no fuss, got my son to eat almost all of his food, AND I ended up with a cookie. Sounds like a win for mom!

We’ve used this bribe/bargain/reasoning (whatever you want to call it) off and on with varying degrees of success.  Sometimes, he really just isn’t into it- and that’s ok.  We weather the tantrum and move on.  But usually, especially if he considers the reward to be really good, we end up with smiles all around.  And, no matter how you feel about this particular parenting technique, in my opinion, that is so much nicer than a battle of the wills that ends with everyone upset.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here