This year for spring break we did something unprecedented, something – until recently – unthinkable for the last seven years. We packed the kids up, took them to my dad’s house in West Virginia, then promptly LEFT them and drove nearly 9 hours further south to Charleston, South Carolina. By ourselves.
This was unprecedented for two reasons: first – we had never left the kids with someone other than one of us overnight before, and second – our trip to Charleston was basically a road trip with no itinerary. NO itinerary. Zip. Nada. Zilch. Let that sink in, type-A, striving Mamas. I planned a trip – and it was the trip that would be the first “couple time” we’ve had completely alone for days at a time since the kids were born – and I had NO specific plan. Friends who know me well will be picking their jaws up from the floor about now. I generally do not travel without a plan – a detailed, time-stamped plan.
But this was different. This was important to me, because it’s the tenth year of our marriage. Because Scott is the yang to my yin. Because he likes things to be spontaneous and unplanned, especially vacations (this seems terrifically inefficient to me, but again, yang to yin). So for this first trip without the kids EVER, I needed it to be unplanned. I thought he needed it to be unplanned, too. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what ennobles it with the soon-to-be-trending hashtag #adultspringbreak (I’m totally making this a thing.)
Remember Spring Break? As you experienced it when you were in college, or high school, or just without commitments and carefree? When a trip didn’t have to be about anyone else’s itinerary, or sight-seeing, or children’s schedules, or getting things done? When you were pretty much eating and drinking and relaxing and (ahem) enjoying yourself and whatever else comes along, well, that’s kind of the point? THAT’s Spring Break.
And that was our #adultspringbreak in Charleston. I ran an extra half mile or so every morning. Partly just because I could and partly because running or walking is a fantastic way to wake up and get your bearings in the morning before tourist-ing it up in a new city. I crossed into #crazyrunner territory long ago, so I love running anyway, but I especially love getting out early to cover the mile or two around wherever I’m staying and learn where the convenience stores are, where I might find an off-the-wall little shop. It’s so much easier to map that out on foot – whether running or walking – than in a car.
We visited a “preserved not restored” plantation home – Drayton Hall, on a whim, based on a flyer left in the condo. It was a grey, damp (but not cold) day that had the kind of lighting I think photographers like. I dunno. I just point the expensive camera around and once in a while, come up with something good. Or, sometimes I try to take credit for one of Scott’s excellent shots.
We slept. A lot. I slept early. Scott slept late. We spent plenty of time together, talking about everything – our kids, future plans, whatever pop culture or news thing popped into our heads. But there were no life or relationship-altering conversations and to be brutally honest I was probably some combination of smug and relieved to not feel like we need one right now. There were long interludes of what ultimately sustains introverts like myself in a long-term relationship – companionable silence. We don’t have to fill every second of our time – even our limited time alone together – with talking. Relaxing my usual itinerary rules also gave us permission to encourage each other to do separate things – running at different times since I like to go first thing in the morning and Scott prefers to wake up a bit more. In four days without our kids we had plenty of time to be together and took full advantage of that, but it was maybe even more relaxing that we could give each other the gift of chilling out on no particular schedule with some time alone as well.
I ate all the cake. Because for reals, that’s why I run. And I give us a pat on the back for visiting Jack’s Cafe rather than Jersey Mike’s around the corner. No disrespect to Jersey Mike’s, but when you’re in a new city, why not try something you can’t get at home? Jack’s Cafe had good food served with vintage attitude, Charleston charm, and the delectable cake that powered me through Ft. Moultrie (two laps around, for good measure).
So what about you? Do you think you might be up for rolling the dice on an #adultspringbreak with your partner? It doesn’t technically have to be spring, and it needn’t even be that long of a break. But if you have any opportunity to score some babysitting that will allow you both to travel, without kids, and without a plan, I highly recommend it. A long weekend or a day-trip, whatever you can make of it is fine, and that’s the point. An investment in remembering your most relaxed, spontaneous selves is one that’s well worth the time.