I’ve been nursing my second son, Dash, for 16 months. He has explained, in not-so-many words, that he would like to continue to nurse until he’s at least 39 years old. However, this mama has cut him down to only nursing 3 times a day (morning, naptime, and bedtime), so he’s got some time to kill. Dash is excited to use some of this extra time to offer a unique exercise class for your little ones!
Introducing…
Nursing Yoga!
Nursing yoga will challenge you physically, mentally, and spiritually. As you drink from the “liquid gold” fountains of your youth, get in a good workout!
All classes begin promptly at 5am! (Why? Because we can!)
Cost: $25 per child, per class (mom says she’ll put this in a savings account for me labeled “beer and tattoo money”)
Alternative payment: 1 6-pack of beer per child, per class (mom swears she’ll save this for me until I’m old enough…she told me to ask for “craft” beer)
Sorry, no multi-class discounts.
Weekly schedule:
Mondays – Nursing Yoga for Beginners
This class focuses on teaching the youngest of breastfeeders how to do easy yoga poses while staying latched to their mothers. Very basic moves that yield solid results both physically and mentally (as in, deteriorating your mom’s mental capacities).
Tuesdays – Nursing Yoga for Daytime Feeders
This class focuses on using chair arms and other props for yoga poses. Family pets are also encouraged to attend this class as they are fair game as well.
(Wednesdays are for meditation, self-reflection, and eating crayons.)
Thursdays – Nursing Yoga for Nighttime Feeders
This class focuses on balancing using mom’s nostrils, eyeballs, and other soft, vulnerable body parts for leverage.
Fridays – Advanced Nursing Yoga
This class focuses on advanced yoga poses that make moms the most uncomfortable. If mom isn’t using a combo of at least two curse words, you’re not doing it right.
**must take Nursing Yoga for Beginners first!**
I. Love. This.
Seriously, my 14 month old would like to be attached 24 hours a day. Except when he’s eating potato chips.
The positions he puts himself in when he eats…I can hardly believe it works that way!
Right?!