Motherhood. The unique role where you can be blissfully happy one moment and ready to lock yourself in a closet the next. I honestly wasn’t prepared for the roller coaster aspect of being a mom. I knew I’d love it, I knew I’d love my children and I knew I’d cry plenty of happy tears. I didn’t realize that there was another side. The side where I’d cry out of pure frustration, anger and guilt. Hate may be too strong of a word to use here, but it can get pretty darn close.
Motherhood is a three-ring circus with the outer rings being happy and sad and reality falling somewhere in the middle. We must choose to live in the middle and focus on the happy, or we’ll go crazy. Actually, we all do go crazy from time to time. In my not-so-long four years of experience as a mom, I’ve come to terms with the fact that there will be moments that I am on cloud nine and other times that I will just have to somehow make it through. Perhaps you can relate.
I love snuggling my babies. I love when they crawl up on my lap and want me close, when I’m the only one who can comfort them.
I hate when I can’t have any personal space. After several hours of hands all over me, demanding things, I just want room to breathe.
I love watching my kids learn new things. It amazes me when they say a new word, learn to get dressed or recognize letters.
I hate how fast they are growing up. Time is a gift, but it’s cruel. It’s so true that the days are long but the years are oh, so short.
I love watching my kids interact with others. My son loves his preschool teacher and that makes me so happy. He respects her, learns from her and really loves her.
I hate sharing my kids. They’re mine and I don’t want to give any of that up. I dread the day that bus pulls up for the first day of school.
I love being home with my kids. It’s a true gift and I do not take it for granted. It’s always been my dream and it’s wonderful.
I hate trying to balance being home with my kids, working from home and having me-time. I miss the time I got to spend with my friends, and I miss being able to 100% focus on a career.
I love rocking my kids to sleep. The feeling of having them totally relax in my arms is something I never want to forget.
I hate being tired. I am always tired and I do not see that changing any time soon.
I love being a mom. It is everything I always thought it would be and more. Motherhood is the greatest gift and joy and the reason I am here.
I hate that there are moments that I forget this. But, there will always be moments. There will be times of anger, annoyance, impatience and many, many tears. We ride the roller coaster and we do the best we can. We forgive ourselves and give ourselves grace. We focus on the love and put aside the hate. We take our role as ringmaster seriously and recognize that it’s not always easy. It’s okay to have a love/hate relationship with motherhood…as long as the love comes out on top.