Yes, we are those people. The ones who, despite the fact we were given a time 30 minutes before we actually had to be there, still manage to show up, panicked and out of breath, 15 minutes behind schedule. The actual schedule, not the pretend one we were given in an effort to get us somewhere on time. At least we nearly always arrive with all four of our children, although its pretty much a guarantee someone isn’t wearing shoes. Or a jacket. Or a shirt. What is our problem, you might wonder? Chances are, our tardiness can be attributed to one of the following:
The missing shoe. Not a pair of shoes. One shoe. Singular. I’m not going to lie. We’ve played the mix and match game. So long as one is for the left foot and one for the right, it doesn’t matter if they come from the same pair, right?
Wait, that was today?! I have mom brain. It started with my first pregnancy and never really went away. I can write something on the calendar, leave myself reminder notes all over the house, and enlist the children to help me remember. I still forget. Until one of the kids comes wandering in, 10 minutes before we are supposed to be here or there, and reminds me.
A breakdown in negotiations. There are certain things our kids jump at the chance to leave the house for. Like birthday parties. And ice cream. Then there are those that nearly always generate strong resistance. And, just when we nearly have them convinced that a trip to the dentist can, in fact, be fun, one of them changes their mind.
I forgot my teddy bear! I FORGOT MY TEDDY BEAR!! I am not one who usually caters to the whims of a two year old. But when the choice is a) a peaceful car ride with a slightly later than scheduled arrival time or b) one filled with the angry, piercing cries of a child with teddy bear separation issues, I opt for peace.
Someone has to use the bathroom. Again. It does not matter if they used the potty right before we walked out the door. Inevitably, 10 minutes into any trip, someone has to go again. Right now. If we’re lucky, there’s a Target nearby. Because gas station bathrooms? Ugh.
Did you pack the diaper bag? I didn’t pack the diaper bag. One would think, after ten years and four children, this would be a no-brainer. But it’s not. We have tried to combat this forgetful tendancy by leaving the bag in the car. The risk? We run out of diapers and, out of sight out of mind, forget to refill the bag. As I am not a huge fan of “will she poop?” roulette (I nearly always lose), it often warrants a return to the house.
We forgot the ____________. You can fill in the blank here with just about anything. Chances are, at some point or another, we have turned the car around in order to retrieve it.
Should have used the GPS. There are a handful of places I can find without assistance from “the lady”. All others require a little guidance to get where we set out to go. On those occasions where I think “I’ve got this,” nine times out of ten it turns out I don’t. A 10 minute trip turns into 20. Late.
The rare occasion we do arrive on time feels like a cause for celebration. And if, by some stroke of divine luck, we are ever early? Party time for sure! But save us a seat at the table on party day. We might be a little late…
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