Passionate About Cincinnati
and the Moms Who Live Here

I Know a Hot Lady!

For all the Mommas out there who, like me, had big plans!  …but, like me, are walking through 90 degree days in pants and Spanx…this one’s for us!  I’ll see you at the gym(or whippy dip?)!

….inspired by my 1,720th time reading, “I Know an Old Lady…”

I know a hot lady who always wears pants
You may ask, “Why the stance on wearing the pants?”
That’s a weighty circumstance!

I know a hot lady ashamed of her knees
That wriggle and jiggle around like soft cheese
She wears the pants in 100 degrees
Since her knees bring some nailbiting, unnerving unease!
You may ask, “Why the stance on wearing the pants?”
That’s a weighty circumstance!

I know a hot lady who could really use a tan!
But, how to tan when covering up is the plan?!
She always wears pants to cover her knees
That wriggle and jiggle around like soft cheese. 
She wears the pants in 100 degrees
Since her knees bring some nailbiting, unnerving unease!
You may ask, “Why the stance on wearing the pants?”
That’s a weighty circumstance!

I know a hot lady who buys all the self-tan lotion,
Vacation at the ocean!  Where’s the knee shrinking potion?
She needs to get the lotion to get the tan,
But, how to tan when covering up is the plan?
She always wears pants to cover her knees
That wriggle and jiggle around like soft cheese.
She wears the pants in 100 degrees
Since her knees bring some nailbiting, unnerving unease!
You may ask, “Why the stance on wearing the pants?”
That’s a weighty circumstance!

I know a hot lady who wears 3 layers of Spanx,
It takes a lot of ranks to suck in those flanks! 
She has to suck in those flanks to go to the ocean!
If only there was a knee shrinking potion!
She needs to get the lotion to get the tan,
But, how to tan when covering up is the plan?
She always wears pants to cover her knees
That wriggle and jiggle around like soft cheese.
She wears the pants in 100 degrees
Since her knees bring some nailbiting, unnerving unease!
You may ask, “Why the stance on wearing the pants?”
That’s a weighty circumstance!

I know a hot lady who’s tired of sweating!
Summer clothes bring on so much fretting!
But, it’s hot, you see, in 3 layers of Spanks!
And it takes a lot of ranks to suck in those flanks!
She has to suck in those flanks to go to the ocean!
If only there was a knee shrinking potion!
She needs to get the lotion to get the tan,
But, how to tan when covering up is the plan?
She always wears pants to cover her knees
That wriggle and jiggle around like soft cheese.
She wears the pants in 100 degrees
Since her knees bring some nailbiting, unnerving unease!
You may ask, “Why the stance? On wearing the pants?”
That’s a weighty circumstance!

I know a hot lady who’s at the end of her rope!
“Who cares?!” says she.  “Do I?!  That’s a NOPE!”
She’s tired of Sweating
And tired of Fretting.
It’s hot, you see, in those layers of Spanx.
It’s just not worth it to suck in those flanks!
She’s packing her shorts and heading to the ocean,
And abandoning her searches for knee shrinking potion.
And those stretch marks displayed!  It’s time to get tan!
She’s gonna play with her kids on the beach in the sand! 
After all, in the end, they’re really just knees…
Perhaps there’s a slight resemblance to cheese?
But, it’s 100 degrees!
She’s chucking aside her unnerving unease!
You may ask, “Why the change on the stance of the pants?”
WELL…
          These knees need the breeze and I’ll pray you don’t glance!

I know a hot lady who has skinny plans for next summer…
And, her pantry ‘til then will be a huge bummer!

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