I recently read my ten millionth article on “how to get your kid to sleep through the night” and as I clicked my phone off and pondered what I read, my first reaction was annoyance. It was written by a mom who had real life experience and she had basically gone the hardcore route and locked her kid in his room. Now I am desperate to get my kids to sleep, but I do not agree with this method. It wouldn’t work for my kids, or for me. I was annoyed with her, and maybe a little jealous that she had found something that did work and she was now getting consistent sleep.
This annoyance has come up previously. I’ve read about moms not liking Disney, only feeding their kids organic food and using spanking as a form of punishment. Each time I finished reading these, I felt annoyed at the author. But why? These moms were NOT telling me that I should think the same way they do. They were not scolding me for watching Disney movies, eating Chick-Fil-A or avoiding spanking. But for some reason I still felt annoyed and reacted with an eye roll or two.
Then I started to think about how I parent and if others would be annoyed with me. The answer is… of course! I let my kids get dirty (really dirty). Sometimes we watch TV while we eat and I give them milk in the middle of the night. You may be reading this and rolling your eyes, or maybe you do these too. So is the annoyance necessary? No. And it’s time we all got over it.
I’ll make the point very clearly – we are different. We are different people and we are parenting different children. We have different morals, priorities, means and backgrounds. As long as no one is getting physically or emotionally hurt (this should go without saying), we just plain shouldn’t care what other moms are doing. Of course it is in our human nature to be curious and as a community of moms, we are known to talk. And gossip. And talk some more. We ask each other for advice and we support each other through this journey. What we need to get rid of is the judgment. I speak for myself when I say we need to stop the eye rolling. You will never show your kids cartoons? Okay, that’s great. Your kids will drink soda? Alright then. I disagree, but I promise I didn’t roll a single eye as I typed that.
I hope most of you reading this are not like me and haven’t had these thoughts before. But I have a feeling most can relate on some level. I’ve never disliked another mom or not spent time with her because we disagreed, but I will admit to having some negative thoughts. And that is just plain wrong. I have the utmost respect for each mom who wakes up in the morning (or never went to sleep) and does the best she can for her kids, her family and herself. And what an important lesson to teach our kids – I disagree with you, but I respect you. So moms – you do you. And I promise to respect you along the way.
