Am I Being “Too Honest” with My Kid?

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The other night on the drive home, my little one asked if we could play “Knock Knock” jokes. I said sure. So, we took turns. She’s seven, so hers were pretty terrible, but I amused her nonetheless. I took some time on each of mine. I was pretty proud of them! 😉

Here are some samples:

  • “Knock, knock.”  “Who’s there?”  “Boo.”  “Boo who?”  “Well, geeze, you don’t have to cry about it!!” (Hahahaha…)
  • “Knock, knock.”  “Who’s there?”  “Knew.”  “Knew who?”  “I don’t know who they know!”  (She gave me a hard time about that one…)
  • “Knock, knock.”  “Who’s there?”  “Hoo.”  “Hoo who?”  “There’s an owl in here?  Where!?”  (She liked that one.)
  • “Knock, knock.”  “Who’s there?”  “Eight.”  “Eight who?”  “Someone ate someone?  That’s gross!”  (I had to explain this one.)
  • “Knock, knock.”  “Who’s there?”  “Kangar.”  “Kangar Who?”  “There’s a kangaroo?!  Are we in Australia?!”  (Again, I had to explain this one as well.)
  • “Knock, knock.”  “Who’s there?”  “Woo.”  “Woo who?”  “Yeah, I’m excited too!!!”

Then, after all of our back and forth jokes, she asked if hers were really good….  Now, I had to have a quick internal debate with myself: Do I protect her fragile feelings and ego, or do I get real with her and help her build some character?   chose the latter. I’m a mean mom (or so my husband tells me). I told her that hers weren’t really, really good. But, that it’s really hard for little kids to make a really good knock-knock joke. She tried to pipe up with something about a volcano. I tried to explain what a “play on words” is and how you do it. I used the banana knock-knock joke my mom told her at Christmas and the “Orange you glad I didn’t say banana” part. I tried to tell her how “orange” instead of “aren’t” is a play on words. I told her we could make a volcano joke like this:

  • “Knock, knock.”  “Who’s there?”  “Volcane.”  “Volcane who?”  “A volcano?!  Where?!”

She just started to get really sad and quiet. I asked her if I hurt her feelings, to which she replied in a shaky voice, “You made me a little sad.” I told her that I was not trying to hurt her feelings and repeated that a good knock-knock joke is really hard. But, I had stripped away all of her fun and joy – splattered it all on the road behind us. I told her, “You’re going to have to learn to be tougher, kiddo.” She didn’t talk to me the rest of the way home.

I told my husband when we got home that I had crushed her heart.  He told me to stop being so mean!  Haha… She’ll be fine. I hate hurting her feelings, but I also want her to get some tougher skin and learn to take some constructive criticism. We’re never too young to start learning those lessons. Or, maybe we are, and I’m just a terrible human being. 😉  

Do any of you struggle with being “too honest” with your kids? How do you know when it’s right?

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Courtney Snow
I was born in New York and lived in several states before settling down in my favorite city of all time - Cincinnati! I have an interracial family that consists of my amazing and talented husband (Derek) and our beautiful, silly daughter (Adilyn {2009}). I work full-time in Human Resources in addition to owning the Cincinnati, Dayton, & Louisville Mom Collectives, write and illustrate children's books (search "Courtney Jayne Snow" on Amazon), love to volunteer, and am a registered and certified nutritional consultant (RNC/CNC). I still do my best to be the best mom and wife I can be! I love art museums, the theatre, the zoo, reading, and Cincinnati parks. I'm a foodie and always love trying new places to eat. I hope other moms find either enlightenment or humor from my posts!

2 COMMENTS

  1. I’m curious to know what other people commented. Found your post bc I’m 26 and still struggle with my bluntness, whch hurts me at times. I see you posted this back in Feb 2017. Assuming you continued the honest feedback, have you noticed any changes in your daughter since then?

    • Hi, Natalia! Yes, I have continued the honest feedback, and it’s worked well still the past couple years. There are times when I feel I’ve been too blunt/harsh, and I try to be conscious of it. I just tell her right away that anything I’m saying is only because I love her and want the best for her. She seems to understand and gives me some leeway in those moments now. 🙂 I’m sure you’re doing an incredible job!! Don’t be too hard on yourself. The fact that you’re looking for resources like CMB is just proof of how seriously you take your role as a mommy, and you should be very proud of yourself. Your kiddo is lucky to have you!!!

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